Flu or Stress, Which is Worse?

Psychologist MorningtonSo apparently, Melbourne is currently being ravaged by the dreaded Flu. It’s not fatal, and mostly it just causes a runny nose the likes of which you’ve never seen before along with a general feeling of doom and gloom, but still…I’m staying indoors. Nope, no thank you, none of that foolishness.  I have work to do, cats to feed, laundry to complete.

And I’m all the way out here on the Mornington Peninsula as well; hate to think about what it’s like travelling into the centre of Melbourne every day on the train, knowing anyone could be carrying the dreaded lurgy. I’m enough of a hypochondriac as it is, thank you. I already get checkups every season, jabs when I don’t need them and I’ve even booked myself in for a few sessions with a psychologist. In the Mornington Peninsula,  a place of wonder and peace and goodness, people take their mental health seriously. Actually, everyone does that, but especially here. But beware! Danger lurks everywhere!

I feel fine, but who really knows? I had a bad dream the other day that I had to give a presentation on the three forms of heat transference, and I know nothing about science. I showed up in front of an audience of 5000 people, all waiting to hear how heat transfers, only to realise that I was wearing banana-yellow business attire, and all my notes had been chewed by a sloth.

That’s got to mean something. Pretty sure I’m repressing memories from my childhood, and the sloth represents my inability to move on from that 39 I received in my theatre studies VCS class. Seeing a psychiatrist really would just put my mind at ease about this stuff, along with maybe some medication. Maybe. If I need it. Up to them. I’m just glad they have psychiatrists and psychologists in Mornington at all. People here are so relaxed, you’d think you’d have to go into Melbourne, stress-ville itself. No thank you…I don’t need the flu.


Jolene, Talkin’ ‘Bout Her Kids Just ‘Cause She Can

play centre BayswaterOh man. There’s ONE person in this little group of ours who’s giving me the most grief, at least recently.

And that…is Jolene. Jolene! Jolene, Jolene…won’t someone smack her with a frying pan?

Jolene just has to have her fingers in everything, and it’s not just Golf Expo stuff. I like to give the other girls advice about their kids- because we all know I run the tightest ship out of all of ’em- and the Jolene comes steaming in with her great and mighty wisdom. Oh, she knows a GREAT kids birthday party venue, near Bentleigh East, great food, lovely service, keeps the kids entertained for hours. Takes them there all the time, so she says.

I get it, Jolene. You think you’re mother of the year, but you’re just cuttin’ corners everywhere. My kids love good play centre, sure, but not ALL the time. It’s like giving them cookies all the time. It’s a sometimes treat, for when they’ve been good. But that’s Jolene all over…has these ideas that kids don’t need any discipline, and you should let them do whatever they want, WHENEVER they want. I’m just glad there aren’t more crazies like her. Can you imagine if I let Bazel do whatever he wanted? He’d be climbing the walls and setting fire to chandeliers.

See, that’s where a kid’s play centre really comes in handy. When you think your kids need a bit of exercise, you can let them loose and they’ll tire themselves out. While you wait, as well! In fact, the safe indoor play centre in Bayswater used to be my salvation when the kids were a bit younger and the hubby was out all day winning the bacon. Kids went all over the place, I got a bit of a sit down, and I only had to intervene when Bazel (and Leoniqua, funnily enough) started to see if they could set fire to the plastic elephants.

They couldn’t, but that was still a disaster waiting to happen.