Well, I’m back from Egypt, and I’m totally broke. Not only that, but my girlfriend has been seeing another guy. Oh and the institute has said that our research was a waste of time and they aren’t going to give us any more funding. I’m now living in the garage since Mum and Dad turned my room into a gym. A gym I have not seen them use once, I might add.
It was a really simple premise, as well! We just wanted to assemble a crack team of scientists from around the world to create glass that was totally indestructible.
It’s really one of the scourges of modern life that we have to put up with glass shattering. Glass nowadays can be extremely tough, which is why you get things like glass balustrades and that platform up at the top of the Eureka Tower where you can stand on glass and feel like you’re about to fall.
Still, your average, everyday glass breaks. It’s 2018; why are we still tolerating everyday items breaking apart when sufficient force is applied? Surely by now we should have come up with a way to make glass impervious to cracking. Glaziers shouldn’t have to deal with the stress of holding massive pieces of glass, knowing that the errant banana peel could ruin their day and cost them thousands in damages. Or worse…children on skateboards. Every glazier must live in fear of them, zipping around the streets with their poor depth perception, totally unaware of large glass objects.
So yeah, glass that cannot break. Currently, it does not exist, and things may just be staying that way. But I know that I can unlock the secret if I try hard enough, and we’re also given an extra three-million dollars in funding, and maybe if top rated glaziers in Melbourne came together in a massive picketing campaign to end broken glass. I don’t ask for much…
I don’t like crushed rock. It’s coarse, rough…irritating…and it gets everywhere. But that’s what we’ve chosen for our landscaping project, so that’s what we’re getting.
I mean, it’s not like we’ll be rolling around in the crushed rock like it’s sand on a seashore, either. It’s supposed to look nice in the garden, right where we buried our family of hamsters. There’s no use establishing a family pet cemetery if it’s just going to be boring old soil, which is why we’re trying to spice things up a bit. And in our family, we really do love our pets, hence why we’re trying to make their resting place peaceful and serene.
I was thinking about Hopkins while I was driving down to Cranbourne. Crushed rock and other such materials were on my shopping list. He was a good rabbit, and he deserves a nice place to rest, right next to Rum-kin, Bumpkin and Machiavelli, the most sadistic rabbit we ever owned. We gave him a special resting place, using pebbles instead of the customary rock formations. As much as we loved him, he will always be the devil rabbit.
Of course, with Hopkin’s grave being put in, we may have to encroach on the hamster section. I don’t think Figgy would really mind, to be honest. He wasn’t too fond of resting anywhere. Very nervous, plenty of excited energy, and he vanished on adventures pretty much every single day. That’s why we gave him a grave of crushed rock, instead of…you know, the custom.
There’s no beating the custom, though. All the turtles got it, the cordoned-off cat section had some premium stuff. We had to go all the way to Berwick for garden supplies for that one. But Jumbo was our tenth cat, so we thought it was time for something really special after he passed away. All our animals were special, mind you. Which reminds me that we need to be on the hunt for another one to take up the torch.