Strategy Away Days Are a Waste of Time

property conveyancingWell, THAT strategy away day was the ultimate waste of time. Can’t believe the company actually paid for that stuff, especially since it’s a busy time of year for us and we’re all behind as it is. I have so much paperwork that if it all collapsed, it’d take several days and an excavator to find my body.

Doesn’t matter…it’s over now. Actually, no, I’m NOT letting it go, because we got to meet people from all sorts of different companies and I walked away with the solid idea that they all have better jobs than us. There were the normal bunch from Lawrence Corp who all made it seem like their lives are one giant party, for which they are paid obscene amounts. Definitely the worst. The Melbourne Property Conveyancing League are just as nice but without all the fakeness behind it, so they were better. I was paired with one of them for the ‘Trust Falls WITH A TWIST’ session, and we were talking about some of the work we did. So now at least I know what a conveyancer actually does, because I was thinking ‘estate agent but more filing’. Still, they enjoy their jobs too much as well. And when we were told to crowd surf from a twenty feet drop into the waiting arms of six of our colleagues, that conveyancer guy did it without a hitch. It was like they were a troupe of acrobats. What are they DOING in the conveyancing world that causes them to build trust like that?? You’d think they were flying helicopter rescue missions or something.

At least with them I actually learned something, however. I’ll gladly have a chat about how exciting the sale of land act 1962 is, over one of those Lawrence Corp lackies gushing about their new sauna and hot tub room on every floor. Wow, we get it! Your company is awesome! I just want to be back at my desk…


Keep an Eye on Those Curtain Colours!

property advocatesBeing on TV is a traumatic experience, and I can’t recommend it to anyone. There, I said it…and they didn’t say in the contract that I couldn’t, so there.

House Hunt! Is the newest hot reality TV sensation, with everyone who’s anyone tuning into the latest episodes. It’s one of those things everyone rushes home for, and then talks about all day at work when we’re supposed to be…working. Never dreamed that I’d find myself on the show as a contestant, but I know a guy who knows an uncle who has some major connections in the Melbourne buyers advocate industry and he managed to get me a spot on the show. I was utterly thrilled, because the winning contestant actually gets to hire a buyers advocate to find them their dream home!

That was the plan, anyway. I felt like I was prepared for the rigors of the show, and I even crammed the night before we filmed so I knew everything about houses. They always start off with a quiz segment, like…what’s contained within the sale of land act of 1962? That one would’ve been an easy question, and sure enough, I breezed through. Then we went on to the home decor round, and it all fell apart. On national television, in front of all my friends and family, I recommended to a pair of new home buyers a set of lilac curtains.

The walls were a pale yellow, but the light was dim and I mistook them for cream. Lilac curtains would’ve gone great with cream, but yellow? That’s a monstrosity. I might as well have painted a massive sign above my head: DOESN’T DESERVE TO OWN A HOME.

I couldn’t face Melbourne’s property agent after that anyway, so it’s probably a good thing I didn’t win. Now back to trying to salvage my reputation…