House of Zombies

I was shocked to discover that Forgotten Springs has a thriving undead community, so long as you use the word ‘thriving’ very loosely. All of the ghouls, zombies and skeletons live in a dungeon on the edge of town, sharing a cramped space that is often invaded by trespassers. I travelled into the dungeon to interview one of the zombie leaders, Smasher.

“It’s tough being a zombie. Honestly, I’d probably rather just not be undead at all. You can’t eat anything, you can’t sleep, and your fingers are constantly falling off. Not to mention all of the adventurers who think they can just waltz in here (sometimes literally waltzing), swing their swords about and take all of our possessions. They have some serious nerve. Of course, we always try to defend ourselves, which perpetuates this idea that we are violent monsters.”

For a short while, Smasher and I discuss the idea of moving out of town and buying their own houses. When Smasher points out that nobody would sell a house to a zombie, I suggest visiting some property advocates near Melbourne. They could help buy property anonymously so that nobody can discriminate against the undead.

“It’s an interesting idea. One which I have considered before, admittedly. I once visited what was considered the best buyer’s advocate Armadale has to offer, but I decided to not go through with the idea. Even if I got my dream house, people would still discriminate against the undead. At least here we are a known quantity. Sure, it sucks having to deal with the intrusive adventurers, but we will manage. The buyer’s advocates were brilliant, though. They really sold the idea to me, but in the end, I had to make a choice, and I chose to stick with what I know.”

I feel bad that there isn’t anything I can do for this undead community, so I discuss with Smasher the idea of installing some traps in the dungeon. He thinks that’s a brilliant idea, and we get to work.