Drain Unblocking Champion

Welcome back to Melbourne’s Annual Drain Unblocking Competition! I’m your host Sue Ridge and I’m joined this afternoon by Shannon Gardiner. We’re only moments away from one of the contestants becoming this year’s drain unblocking champion, and I’m so excited that I’m tingling! How are you feeling Shannon?

I couldn’t have said it better myself, Sue. I’m on the edge of my seat here. Before the ad break, George was the clear frontrunner, but his pipe burst and now the remaining gunk is seeping all out onto the floor. One of the requirements to qualify for the win is to have no sewerage remaining anywhere in, on, or around the blocked drain. He’s going to need a bucket and a mop pronto, especially with Tom hot on his tail. 

Yeah, Tom is doing a great job. He’s quite a bit slower than George, mostly because he spent so much time on the initial drain cleaning. In the Melbourne CBD, the cleanliness of our drain network is taken very seriously, which is why it’s a part of the competition’s completion criteria. While it looked like he was potentially going too slow, it now seems like it was the right thing to do. It almost reminds me of the tortoise and the hare situation. Maybe George will be caught out.

I think it’s safe to say that he will be, Sue! George has now completely finished his drain repair, but he can’t announce it because the area around him is so disgusting. It’s quite an oversight by him, that’s for sure. I saw him call someone, presumably his wife, about ten minutes ago. Will she make it from home in time to give him a bucket and a mop before Tom finishes? I’m on the edge of my seat.

It doesn’t look like it, Shannon! Tom has just finished his drain unblocking. In the Essendon area, they must breed them differently. For a man to think about keeping the space clean the entire way through is unheard of. I wish my husband was like that. Anyway, congratulations to our champion!

Melbourne Buyers Advocates

Okay, so I was all on board with the idea of buying a house with my best friends. I mean, we’re only young once so why not? But that was until we had a meeting with a buyers’ advocate. I was looking at my best friends’ lists and I was actually in shock. We’re in our mid-twenties – why would anyone want to live in the suburbs? This is the time to live in Hawthorn or somewhere cool and close to the city. We can live in Bayside when we’re old at like thirty. 

I think I’m going to have to go off on my own and chat separately to a buyers’ advocate. Around the Hawthorn area would be my ideal place to live, but if I can’t live there I’m open to buying in suburbs nearby. If my friends and I were all on the same page then we could easily afford a place in Hawthorn, but apparently, my best friends of the last ten years are all dumb! Who would’ve thought? Not me. 

I might have to have a chat with my outer-circle friends and see if they’d want to become my tenants. I obviously wouldn’t let them buy a house with me because I don’t trust them, but I would let them live in a room and pay me rent. I wonder what a buyers’ advocate would think of that plan? I know they’re not in the rental business so it may not be something they’ve thought about, but who knows. I may as well use every source of information possible, and you’d think a buyers’ agent situated in the Melbourne CBD would have a pretty good idea on stuff like this.  

Now that my friends have gone haywire, I don’t know if I’m ready to buy a house. I felt a lot more comfortable with the idea of sharing the financial burden, but I don’t know if I can afford to buy one by myself. Maybe I’ll just go and blow all my money in Europe instead.