Renovation Competition Results

The contestants of The Blockhead had gathered for the last time, an eclectic mix of personalities who had collectively transformed drab rooms into spaces of dreams. The audience, as hooked on the drama as they were on the renovations, held their breath in anticipation.

The announcer, a tall man with a booming voice and a flair for theatrics, paced on the stage. He was as much a part of the show as the contestants themselves, his ability to weave suspense into the simplest of sentences unmatched.

He began to recap the season. “The Mildred and Millie duo,” he started, his voice echoing across the hall, “gave us an unforgettable feast of aesthetics with their kitchen makeover.” The crowd roared in approval as the spotlight fell on the grinning pair. Their kitchen renovation had indeed been a sight to behold.

The announcer then moved on to Bozo and Fumbles. “Their laundry room was a triumph of practical design,” he declared, “and an exceptional bathroom means Bozo and Fumbles are surely the frontrunners to win this season of The Blockhead. They may have fumbled when it came to impressing the kitchen design experts from Melbourne, but otherwise, they didn’t take a misstep.” Laughter and applause filled the room as the spotlight landed on the pair. 

“But now, onto the moment we’ve all been waiting for,” the announcer boomed, bringing the room to a hush. “The overall winners of this season’s Blockhead are…” A drum roll echoed. “Rock and Hulk!”

A collective gasp echoed around the room. Rock and Hulk, the duo who had not won a single challenge, were the overall winners? The surprise quickly melted into laughter, the irony of the situation apparent to all. Rock and Hulk, looking as surprised as the rest, hoisted the trophy high, their expressions a mix of confusion and joy.

The Blockhead had once again delivered a season filled with laughter, surprises, and a fair share of unexpected twists. And as Rock and Hulk, the underdogs turned champions, celebrated their unjust victory, the audience knew they would be back for the next season of this unscripted, unpredictable, and undeniably entertaining renovation spectacle.

Bathroom Consultation

It’s been a strange day for designing an office bathroom, particularly since we don’t even have a roof on this building yet (nor a foundation, for that matter). Since it’s now winter, the rains are really starting to come down. I’ve been standing with Space Wizard, trying to work out the best tiles to put around the bathroom mirror, all while a tempest threatens to uproot my office and send it flying across Sweden, Victoria. It’s crazy, but the producers of Australia’s Next Top Office insist it makes for great television.

Space Wizard and I are having a bit of a disagreement on the whole tile issue. Ultimately I will have the last say in the matter, since he is stuck in a water bottle, having been liquified by Archerak. Basically Space Wizard has gained an odd affinity toward the colour pink since arriving on Earth. Not any pink, but bright, hot pink. He thinks it’s an awesome colour. Given that we’re designing the men’s bathroom at the moment, I’m not sure it’s the best choice. Now, I’m quite a modern guy. I smash glass windows across Melbourne because I want the world to change for the better. But that would be a little too feminine even for me. I know it’s not necessarily the opinion of all bathroom designers, but I think social politics and change should be kept out of the bathroom.

If I want to get top points on this challenge, I’ll need to make the best bathroom anybody has ever seen. We can’t be tiling the walls with hot pink. I thought Space Wizard would love the idea of a dark blue appearance since it’s a bit like outer space, but he’s really set on this hot pink colour. I don’t know what to do. Maybe I should call a bathroom renovations business. Melbourne has at least one of those, surely. If they agree with Space Wizard, I’ll do his idea, even if it does hurt my eyes.

That’s what being a good design partner is all about. If you can’t agree on something, see what other people think. Then when they inevitably agree with your point of view, you use that as a way to win the argument. And that’s why we’re going to win this competition; because we’re the best.

– Glass Smashing Bandit