Aircons and Truths

“For the last time,” Rory said, flopping down onto the couch as he realised his friend wasn’t truly in trouble. “I am not joining your Dragons and Dungeons campaign. I don’t have time to play pretend.”

Toby gestured dramatically to the bookshelf in the corner of the living room, the makeshift home for the figurines that he had painstakingly spent the better part of last year painting. 

“Those are collectables,” he argued. He straightened up as Toby crashed down on the couch next to him. His expression was one of panic, the whites of his eyes eerily stern when contrasted with the blotchy red skin of his face. 

“I’m talking about real wizards, Rory,” he said.

Rory chuckled wryly. “Are any of them friends with some air conditioning technicians near Canberra?”

He began to reach for the portable fan that he kept on the coffee table but Toby gripped his wrist, forcing him to meet his gaze. Rory jerked his hand back but sat back, suddenly afraid by the seriousness in his friend’s face. “Are you feeling alright?”

“Remember that internship ad you found online while you were researching companies for heater servicing around Canberra?” Toby asked. Rory slowly nodded, recalling the ad that they had laughed about. It had been some dud advertisement to join a ‘council of wizards’. “Well, I ended up applying for it as a joke. I thought I could see what their deal was and we could laugh about it together.”

Rory opened his mouth to say something, but quickly shut it. The tension in the room was heating up.

“The problem is, it wasn’t some joke. There really is a council of wizards,” Toby’s voice was growing faster. 

“And you’re part of it?” Rory looked for any sign that his friend was joking, preparing to be a part of some grand punchline. His friend’s face stayed stern as he slowly nodded.

“Yes, but they don’t know I’m a human. I don’t think they do, at least, but I think they are about to find out.”

Quiet in Summer

Summer is…quiet. Most of the extremes are, if you stop to think about it. You’ve got that sweet spot in the middle, from mild weather to hot weather, where people spend time outside. Then if it snows, that absorbs the sound to make everything muffled. And if it’s super hot, so much so that people stay indoors under the air con, then that makes it quiet outside as well.

Of course, everyone has efficient air conditioning in Brisbane, so on a 40-degree day when the humidity is through the roof, everyone flops down inside, or stays hunkered in their cool offices. I suppose I have air con to thank in those circumstances, because I both love to be alone and also don’t mind heat. At all. I mean, I’m not a mutant, or a camel; I can’t trek through the desert with nothing to sustain me or anything stupid like that. But I can walk around in the sun for a bit and it doesn’t bother me. Even if it’s humid to a stupid degree I don’t mind sitting on a bench in the shade.

I guess this is counterbalanced by me hating the cold like it’s a plague, so if I ever DID get an office job instead of being able to do my work outside, I’d come in every day wrapped in scarves and gloves. Like, you don’t even know…people in Brisbane crank their air con up so high it’s like they’re trying to create a white Christmas, inside. Last year I had to make regular trips to the sauna that was the back laundry to survive the family Christmas without contracting hypothermia (which is how you get hypothermia in the first place, so…).

But the outside is mine. I’m ALL for getting the best air conditioning repair Brisbane has to offer. They’ve been doing their thing for a good while longer. Bring on global warming, all of that. I can take it. The air conditioner is up to the challenge.

Cool Repairs, Mandy

I’m not that cool, especially since I had kids and started to slowly take on all the positive and negative traits that I saw in my own Mum when I was growing up. But I suppose I am pretty cool since the TV room is air conditioned. And it’s all been cooling stations and grids on Week of Our Lives, as Realsville has been hit by a sudden spate of extreme summer weather. Personally, I thought they were gearing up for a mandatory beach episode- they have one every year- but they must be combining it with the Christmas special, because this week it was all about Mandy and her training with evaporative cooling services. Canberra has never appeared on the show before, because they can’t really afford to film there I guess, but now we saw Mandy’s high-flying life interning at the Canberra Cooling Authority, the office that sits right next to Parliament House and controls all the cooling and air conditioning services in Canberra (although also, the rest of the country).

Now Mandy is back, and she’s  exhausted from all these people asking her to come and look at their air con units and fix them to “How they do things up in Canberra town?”

Mandy finally snapped and said that she’d look at the Weiss family’s cooling unit tomorrow, but she’s been away and doesn’t know that the Weiss family are secretly cannibals, and they all play their trombones far too loud on school nights. Now they feel slighted, and they are planning a trombone reckoning on Mandy’s home until she agrees to come and fix their air con unit. Except THEY don’t know that while she was learning the secrets of air conditioning repairs, she secretly took lessons in cool-jitsu, the martial art taught only to air conditioning professionals to defend themselves from angry, hot and bothered clients who become rowdy.

A reckoning is coming…but to whom?