The Cut-Throat World of Cafe Ownership

Lorne beachesYou don’t get into the cafe game for the fame and the glory.

It’s not about the adoring regulars, or even the satisfaction of crafting the perfect brew.

No…the cafe game is all about power, manipulation and clawing your way to the top of the food chain. You need to be cut-throat, ruthless, and sometimes even barbaric. It’s not for the faint-hearted.

That’s why i set up shop by the beach, famously the toughest cafe market out there. I relish the challenge. I don’t mind getting my hands dirty.

Obviously, a working knowledge of the best accommodation in Lorne works wonders. You can’t be in such an intense business without knowing about the ebb and flow of potential customers in your town, and hotels come with a few other perks. You can sometimes get a bit of sneaky advertising in if you get talking with the guests. Give them some directions, tell them about the local attractions and then slip in that you run a cafe, with a few discounts for some very special guests. They’re like putty in your hands. Also, it pays to see if you can get a taste of what the hotel is serving in the dining room. The food is often great- no point in competing with that- but if the hotel serves better coffee than you, then you’d better step up your game.

After that, it’s a simple matter of making your place look so chic it’s like you transplanted a photograph right off Instant-Gram. Chic coming out of your EARS. Much more chic than your average Lorne hotel with a great view

After that, you just have to come out on top of the weekly Lorne cafe owner backstreet brawls, and you’re on your way to greatness.


The Energy of the Future

commercial solarWhat keeps me awake at night? Coal, probably. We just keep digging it up and burning it, and it’s doing all kinds of terrible nonsense.

The project that our science teacher gave us was something we’re worried about regarding the future…and something that gives us hope. So mine is pretty easy: coal, and solar energy. Not a fan of the first one, but I’m ALL about the second. Commercial solar in Melbourne has been gaining ground for years now, but only recently have people really turned it into an industry. Maybe they have the same feelings as me when it comes to burning all that coal? Doesn’t matter. When I see how many people are starting to rely on solar and wind power, it makes me feel a bit better about growing up here. Like, in this time period.

Man, it sucks being a teenager in 2017. The older people have basically destroyed the ozone layer, carbon levels are at an all-time high, sea levels are rising and then the polar ice caps might be melting. Jury’s out on this one.

Feels like I’ve taken over a shift at a hospital where in the last five minutes ten people have been sick, some guy is running around with a scalpel and the power has gone out. It’s like…thanks, older generation! I’ll just clean all this mess up, no need to thank me! It’s not like it’s all your fault we’re all in the mess in the first place because of your mistakes. 

We’ve got the tools to do it, though. My research has shown me that much, and it looks like solar power is going to be the next big thing. And then you’ve got stuff like the Tesla powerwall, which might just be the thing that solves the whole coal problem. Maybe. Research pending, but at least there’s actually something to research. Other than ‘we’ve wrecked the planet, whoops’.