The Plumbing Alliance

The case was far from over. We had a symbol and a connection to the blocked drains near Brighton, but that was just the tip of the iceberg. I was about to dive into a world I never even knew existed, but thankfully, I wouldn’t have to book a Melbourne drain plumber to get answers, as I had one right beside me to help burst this case open.

After following a trail of breadcrumbs, we found ourselves in the heart of Essendon, where whispers of an underground society had reached our ears. The plumber’s expertise meant that when it came to drain unblocking, Essendon didn’t stand a chance. He would certainly come in handy as we navigated the city’s sewers, searching for answers.

“Detective, I’ve never seen anything like this before,” the drain plumber said, as we discovered a hidden entrance to a vast underground chamber. “Who would’ve thought that beneath the city, there’s a whole other world?”

As we ventured deeper into this subterranean realm, we found ourselves in the midst of a society living beneath the streets of Melbourne. They were a resourceful group, skilled in drain camera inspection, pipe relining and other forms of plumbing maintenance. It was no wonder that they had managed to survive undetected for so long.

But the blockages we had been investigating were causing them problems, too. Their way of life was threatened by the same villain we were hunting. And so, we formed an alliance, combining our resources and knowledge to unravel the mystery and bring the perpetrator to justice.

In this strange new world, the drain plumber and I had found allies we never expected. Together, we would continue our investigation, plumbing the depths of Melbourne’s sewers in search of the mastermind behind the blockages. And with each new discovery, the stakes grew higher.

But we were determined to see this case through to the end. For the sake of our city and the people who called it home, both above and below ground, we would stop at nothing to uncover the truth and put an end to the villain’s nefarious plans.

Plumbing for the Big Celebration

emergency plumber MelbourneIt’s Chinese New Year, and everyone’s coming round. Don’t get me wrong- I love being part of a multicultural, diverse family that celebrates all kinds of traditions- but there are just…so many of them. For Christmas, which some members of our family don’t even celebrate, we hosted seventeen. Our home is not that big, so some were forced out into the garden.

For Chinese New Year? We’ve probably got about forty or so. Forty. I just don’t have the social energy to get around to everyone. Oh, and we just have the one bathroom. Imagine queuing for the bathroom in your own home, and you’ve got the idea.

It’s my job this year to have a Melbourne plumbing company on standby. I don’t want to name names, but…actually, I’m totally naming names. Uncle Jeng is a character, great at parties, makes everyone feel welcome and is basically the king of giving gifts. But he does tend to spend a long time in the bathroom, and sometimes the pipes just can’t take it. No more details required.

And then there’s the hot water situation. Mum had the boiling water tap installed after last year when our kettle died mid-celebration. Obviously tea is a big part of the festivities, and it becomes no fun when you’re trying to brew for two-score people with a saucepan on the stove. Except the plumber said those things are temperamental at the best of times, and I just know it’s going to be overworked. We really just need an extra house grafted onto the end of this one to properly accommodate. That’s what we get for being the most central relatives. At least there’s a park at the end of the road with a barbecue…most years, all the younger relatives filter down there while the older ones relax in the house and complain about the noise.

It’s a great celebration, really, it is! I’m just old enough now for it to be stressful. So, emergency Melbourne plumber on standby. Maybe an electrician, too. And the fire brigade, because there will be fireworks.


A Game…About a Plumber?

24 hour emergency plumberDay 22 in the game design office. It’s not exactly what I expected, though maybe I inflated my expectations somewhat…like, I had it in my head that we’d just be playing games all day, and occasionally someone would say something like ‘oh hey, we should make a game’ and someone else would be like ‘a mole with a bazooka that has to find seven sapphire gems to save the underground mole kingdom from the clutches of a crocodile with magical powers who is also evil, boom done’, and then we’d go back to playing some games.

Maybe I missed that golden hay-day, because now it’s all about the work. Work, work, all the time…

And then there are the idiots. Now, I get the role of plumbers, I really do. I think all of Melbourne’s emergency plumbers deserve some kind of medal for getting up at 4am to fix our disgusting pipe problems, and I was recently made aware of this by the fact that it happened to me. Shaving over the sink…it’ll never happen again. But then some guy today at the idea generation board meeting suggested that we make a game and have the main character as a plumber. Not a game about plumbing, mind you. Just your average adventure…starring a plumber.

Okay first, no. People want heroes who are relatable everymen, and not everyone has been to TAFE to learn how to unblock drains and replace pipes. And then it’s almost an insult to the plumbing profession. Like, how many plumbers have you seen who shoot ice-balls and slide under things to kill them? Why would you even use a plumber for that, anyway? Makes no sense. Also, there’s a very similar game concept out there right now, and NO ONE wants to get sued.

Let’s leave Melbourne’s plumbing services to their own jobs, instead of creating games with unrealistic expectations. Sort of like the ones I had regarding this job.


Moving further away

24 hour plumberFar out. How is that, even when you move interstate to escape your insane parents, they don’t get the message and just ring you for even the littlest thing? It seems completely unfair. It’s not like they don’t know how much I hate it, either. When I left home, it was because we’d had an enormous fight, but the second their air conditioning unit breaks down, they were on the phone to me, expecting me to drop everything and race over.

Sorry to break it to you, mum and dad, but that’s not really how things work anymore. Now I’m my own person, I left to get away from your tyranny, I don’t owe you any favours. Apparently, just moving out of home wasn’t enough to send a clear messages, so to push it a little further, I moved out of the state.

Okay, this decision wasn’t purely a result of overbearing parents, there were a lot of other factors at play, but their constant neediness definitely made moving that little bit more appealing. But as it happens, no.

No, moving away hasn’t meant that they stop trying to get me to solve their problems, it only means I have to do that remotely. Have you ever tried explaining to a Melbourne plumber that, although you live in Perth, your parents in Melbourne need their drain serviced? Because, apparently, neither one of them is capable of just picking up the phone themselves.

What’s even worse is that, because my parents have absolutely no boundaries and insist that I live at their beck and call, this whole conversation went on at three in the morning. To be honest, I feel sorry for the fantastic team of 24 hour plumbers in Melbourne that had to deal with me while I was that annoyed and sleep-deprived.

I love my parents, I do, but at this point, never speaking to them again would feel like a blessing.