Month: November 2018

Too Many Shrimp

My poor grasp of mathematics is now known to the world, and I must flee to the Maldives. I’ve always known I must flee to the Maldives one day, so it might as well be now. This is my time. My time to make a new life…in the Maldives. I will live in a thatched hut, and that will be my Maldives life.

I just thought that a commercial wok burner could handle that many shrimp. 16,000 shrimp is a very large number, but still, it’s a piece of commercial equipment, very large and quite able to handle many, many ingredients, maybe even a few thousand shrimp at a time. I also didn’t really think about the menu we were preparing, but I did assume that it was something to do with seafood, hence why I ordered so very much. Maybe the restaurant was having a seafood night? I did not know; I just followed instructions…without my glasses. Couldn’t see the numbers, so I just looked at the wok burner, I factored in us getting a commercial oven installed last week (giving us a much greater capacity for cooking) and made the order. My glasses were still lost at this point, so even on the computer I couldn’t see what I was doing. 16,000 shrimp was just the tip of the iceberg, especially when I apparently added a few extra zeroes and ordered 400,000 calamari. Not calamari rings, mind you; actual calamari. We stepped out the back to find that all the parking spaces were taken up, some of them by shrimp, but mostly by hundreds of tanks of live calamari.

I’m on the plane now, so I’m hoping that they’ve found a home for all those calamari and are moving onto the 130,000 lobsters that arrived a few hours later. Honestly, I thought that the seafood company might have noticed. I wonder if I can find a nice restaurant in the Maldives, a professional place with a commercial stove where I can make soup, soup, and even more soup. Soup is hard to mess up, unlike complex online ordering.

-Jace

Learn About Car Servicing

Anyone else think that The Great Australian Trade-Off has lost some of the magic? I know it’s only season 2 and I’m probably expecting too much, but still, I just think…it seems lacklustre. Like, they didn’t cast the right people. The challenges are all very interesting, and I like seeing how they muddle through the various problems, but it’s all ‘argument, getting along, argument, getting along’. Just going through the motions.

I don’t know. It’s still one of those ‘have open in another tab’ shows, you know? Like this week, when they were split into teams of three and had to repair a classic car. It was great to see June taking on an organisational role while Brent used his car expertise, but Camilla didn’t know a single place that does car servicing in Elwood, where she supposedly lives and drives? Then Camilla had the gall to admit on television that she doesn’t really take care of her car and she’s just going to leave it up to the rest of her team. She helped out with the basic stuff, but she just didn’t seem willing to learn the basics of a car servicing procedure. She should’ve been eliminated, is what I’m saying. Instead, Grace was booted from the competition because she tried a bit of impromptu tire repair with good intentions and the thing ended up rolling down a hill into the river. Followed by the car…screeching down the hill with one wheel missing and getting sunk. Okay, that’s pretty bad, but Grace was trying at least. Camilla did nothing. Like, I can tell you a really good garage for car servicing here in Caulfield, like…immediately. Because I drive. And it’s good to know where you can take your car so that it won’t blow up while you’re driving it. SO now I have to watch the show knowing that Camilla is still on it, and she could break down at any time, and she wouldn’t have a CLUE how to fix it.

-Moe