Bathroom Consultation

It’s been a strange day for designing an office bathroom, particularly since we don’t even have a roof on this building yet (nor a foundation, for that matter). Since it’s now winter, the rains are really starting to come down. I’ve been standing with Space Wizard, trying to work out the best tiles to put around the bathroom mirror, all while a tempest threatens to uproot my office and send it flying across Sweden, Victoria. It’s crazy, but the producers of Australia’s Next Top Office insist it makes for great television.

Space Wizard and I are having a bit of a disagreement on the whole tile issue. Ultimately I will have the last say in the matter, since he is stuck in a water bottle, having been liquified by Archerak. Basically Space Wizard has gained an odd affinity toward the colour pink since arriving on Earth. Not any pink, but bright, hot pink. He thinks it’s an awesome colour. Given that we’re designing the men’s bathroom at the moment, I’m not sure it’s the best choice. Now, I’m quite a modern guy. I smash glass windows across Melbourne because I want the world to change for the better. But that would be a little too feminine even for me. I know it’s not necessarily the opinion of all bathroom designers, but I think social politics and change should be kept out of the bathroom.

If I want to get top points on this challenge, I’ll need to make the best bathroom anybody has ever seen. We can’t be tiling the walls with hot pink. I thought Space Wizard would love the idea of a dark blue appearance since it’s a bit like outer space, but he’s really set on this hot pink colour. I don’t know what to do. Maybe I should call a bathroom renovations business. Melbourne has at least one of those, surely. If they agree with Space Wizard, I’ll do his idea, even if it does hurt my eyes.

That’s what being a good design partner is all about. If you can’t agree on something, see what other people think. Then when they inevitably agree with your point of view, you use that as a way to win the argument. And that’s why we’re going to win this competition; because we’re the best.

– Glass Smashing Bandit