I’ve got to get out of this town. I’ve been here my whole life, but I just can’t take it anymore. We’re having our annual Bridge Celebration Week, and I’ve experienced enough of these for a dozen lifetimes. Bridge Celebration Week is the absolute worst. Everyone goes out of their way to drive over bridges throughout this week, which makes it pretty much an absolute nightmare to go anywhere. My commute to work has tripled in time this week. Next year, I’m going to be living somewhere else. No doubt about it. Although, I’m not sure what kind of person would want to buy my house in this bridge-fanatic town.
I’m thinking that I’d like to live in the Bayside area because there aren’t any bridges there, but really, anywhere else in Melbourne would do. I’ve been contacting buyer’s advocate agencies in the Melbourne CBD all week, telling them to just find me a house without any bridges nearby. No bridges, and no weird festivals. If there’s a festival celebrating odd bird toys with vibrant colours and fuzzy hairdos within twenty kilometres, I don’t want anything to do with that place. For once in my life, I’d love to live somewhere normal. Is that really too much to ask? Am I cursed to always live in a town with absolutely crazy people?
There was one buyer’s advocate close to Hampton that sounded pretty confident they could find me such a home. “Is it on Mars?” I asked when the agent told me. I have no desire to join Mr Tusk’s expedition to the red planet, but what are the chances of me finding something perfect on Earth? Turns out, pretty good! This buyer’s agent told me a house had just gone on the market today that would be perfect for me. I figure it’s way too good to be true, but I have an appointment booked with him later this week to discuss the potential new home of mine. Dare I dream that this all works out?