Those Who Can’t Teach Fix Nets

soccer nettingThose who can’t teach, teach P.E. Yeah, very funny…not like I haven’t heard it all. The sad thing is, I’m not just one of those sporty people who happens to also like teaching. I really hate exercise, sport, fitness, nutrition…in fact, you could say that I’m against them. Life was made to be enjoyed, and work aside, the best way to do that is by eating what you like and never exercising, because exercise is for idiots who wants to run themselves into the ground.

But still…I teach P.E. Life has a funny way of just working itself out in ironic ways. I never would’ve even gone to a cricket game when I was younger, but now I’m looking at indoor cricket nets and wondering how they’d fit in the gym. I guess you can just look at this like it’s a typical job, like…data entry. People entering data don’t really care about the company, what its offshore holdings are or what their quarterly profits are shaping up to be. Nope, you just do your job and don’t complain. So here I am…looking at cricket nets. I guess there’s a small amount of gratification to be had from telling people to exercise when you yourself don’t actually have to. I’ve literally made a career out of watching other people exercise, with the perfect excuse to never join in myself. It’s better than being in an office, because the way my friends tell it, there’s all this pressure to join in gym sessions and other unsavoury stuff. Nope, no thanks. Teachers are mostly hard-working folk who like to go home at the end of the day with piles of marking and not think too much about strenuous exercise, let alone pressuring other people into doing it.

Actually, all this talk of nets has reminded me that the soccer nets over on the third oval were eaten by birds recently. Of course that would be THE furthest oval away. Like…so far away. I’m feeling tired just thinking about walking all the way over there.

-Mace

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